\"Unanswered Prayers\"

Have you ever wanted something….and prayed for something….and waited for something? And yet here you are….reading this today…..without that something you’ve been praying for?

We’ve all been there. In fact, if you’re as old as I am (and a fan of country music), you may recall a song by Garth Brooks called (you guessed it) “Unanswered Prayers”. That song is full of bad theology. Zero stars. Do not recommend. And yet, we know the feeling. How many of us start our days with our coffee, our Bible, and our notebook full of “prayer requests” that almost exclusively apply to our own wants and needs that are yet to be fulfilled?

It is so very easy to do. And not…..by the way…..entirely unbiblical. Philippians 4:6 tells us,

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (NIV)

“Present your requests to God”. Obviously, there is much to be said about the kinds of requests that we make, why we make them, and what all that says about the motivation of our hearts (for more on that, see James 4:3). 

If I’m being honest, I’ve struggled with this. Many times I have prayed for something that I want or think I need, and then think to myself, “Should I have prayed that? Was that selfish? Maybe I should pray for someone else too to sort of even it out?”

I would love to say that God has responded to me in an audible voice. The reality, though, is that most often He speaks to me through His Word and through the mundane moments in life that would pass me by, except for something in my spirit that recognizes, “Ohhhhhh…..I think I get it now.” And few situations in life present more mundane moments with hidden spiritual implications than the journey of parenting.

You see, my girls ask me for things ALL. THE. TIME. “Mom, can we go to Starbucks and get Frappuccinos?” “Mom, can I get this new book at Barnes & Noble?” “Mom, I need new socks.” “Mom, I want an iPhone.” And when they do, my first thought when they ask me for something is GENERALLY not, “Why are you asking? Why are you so selfish? What is your motive?”

Jesus makes this comparison in his Sermon on the Mount:

Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:9-11, NIV)

This might seem like a controversial statement to some, but it’s true. God (our heavenly Father) wants to give us good gifts! What’s more…..He even wants to give us the good gifts we haven’t thought to ask for!

I mention that my girls ask me for things pretty regularly. They’re kids without jobs…..of course, they do. But there’s one thing that they knew never to ask for, although it was a deep desire of their hearts. And that one thing was a dog.

You see, we had a dog, and she passed away right before Christmas in 2020. And while she was a precious creature, she had a lot of bad habits that did not necessarily endear her to my husband. So when she passed on, we were as sad as any pet owners would be, but it was very clear that our chapter as pet owners was closing. There was just no way Bob was interested in getting another dog….not when there were floors and carpets to replace. So while my girls looked wistfully at the pictures of their friends’ puppies on social media and while they made friends with all the neighborhood dogs, they knew better than to ask for one themselves. It just wasn’t going to happen. Bob was pretty much immovable, and the installation of the new flooring confirmed that.

So imagine my surprise when, right before Christmas of 2021, I found him looking at puppies on Facebook. I can assure you, this is not normal behavior for my husband, so I asked him what on earth he was doing. Long story short….he felt that the time had come to get another dog. I was astounded. Before I knew it, we were choosing a breeder, waiting for a litter of puppies to be born, choosing the right one, and counting the weeks until we could bring her home.

We did all of this without the girls’ knowing, but well into our covert operation, a funny thing happened. Bianca started praying at night for a puppy. And her sister, being the pre-teen that she is, rolled her eyes and assured her that she could just stop praying for that right now because Dad would NEVER change his mind. Like, ever.

And while I would hear these prayers and laugh to myself at what they didn’t know was coming, I also thought, “Well it’s not really an answer to prayer if you start praying for something after it happens.” That’s nowhere in the Bible, by the way. Just in case you were wondering.

Then one night, after bedtime prayers, the Lord spoke to me in the gentle way that only a parent could. He reminded me that since He was, in fact, God….he already knows every request I have ever and will ever pray. In fact, He knew all of this before I was born. Every request I have ever made in my life has already been answered. That’s not to say that they have all been answered the way I want them to be….certainly not. And in the case of my daughter’s prayers, they weren’t necessarily answered AS SOON AS she would have liked (also like mine). But also, remember what the psalmist says,

….no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. (Psalm 84:11, NIV)

So back to all those “unanswered prayers”. Keep praying them! Don’t let the enemy deceive you into growing weary because you think bringing your requests to God is somehow less spiritual than praying the other kinds of prayers that we should also be praying. God is our Father, and good fathers know how to give good gifts!