Reciprocity

Reciprocity. By Mary Jo Hudson

This word keeps popping up in my life. I first saw it when reading the book BRAIDING
SWEETGRASS, written by a botanist with Native American heritage. She taught reciprocity in
nature. One day, I was watching a public television program on foraging and Les Stroud
discussed how the forest operated on a system of reciprocity.

Reciprocity can be defined as an action or behavior mutually beneficial to all parties involved.
The root word is reciprocal: returning a good deed with a good deed. Mathematically, a
number multiplied by its reciprocal is one: a fraction multiplied by the integer of that number is
one. (One/ninth multiplied by nine is one). It is a process of becoming one, of harmony.

Here is a horticultural example: When I dig the bulbs of my Surprise lilies (also known as Naked
Ladies or Resurrection lilies) and divide them and replant them, both the lilies and I benefit.
The lilies reproduce the bulbs every year. Over time, these bulbs become so crowded, they are
no longer able to grow and bloom as intended. By digging, separating, replanting them, I give
them the space to reproduce and grow according to their nature. As a gardener, I’m
benefitting my bulbs by giving them space to grow. I can offer the extra bulbs to other
gardeners. I can replant the extra bulbs in new areas in my garden. I can multiply the beauty
that comes from the bulbs.

Similarly, in the wild, if I were to forage, I might find wild ginger or cattails or any other plant
suitable for eating. If I disturb the plot, I encourage the plant to grow and expand, as long as I
do not over harvest. I can survive from taking some of this foraged food and return another
season to harvest again. Both the plant and the individual win.

Perhaps you have heard that God’s economy functions differently from our national economy.
I think reciprocity is a fine example of this. When we give to someone, we receive something.
Let’s talk human relationships in the scope of reciprocity. How does this work? If I gently stop
my son or daughter when I see there is an error and show another way to address an issue, I’m
(hopefully) helping him to make wise choices and teaching better ways to address an issue. My
child wins because he knows how to regard a situation and side step an error. I benefit because
my child has gained knowledge and wisdom.

If my friend is suffering from loss or disaster, I can offer comfort and friendship and maybe
help. Our bond grows deeper. We both benefit. If I ignore the issue from insensitivity or fear,
our relationship may become strained or grow distant.

If I offend my brother but humble myself and ask for forgiveness and take steps to correct my
error and restore what was lost, both of us benefit. It is a mutually beneficial act.

In fact, as we begin small groups this fall, view them as the fertile bed for reciprocity. One
person’s weakness or struggle can be met, nurtured, counseled by others in the group with
similar experiences. The privilege of praying for one another benefits both parties. When
individuals offer encouragement to one another, regardless of the situation, both parties grow.
Consider how to encourage those in your life. For by encouraging others, we each grow into
more mature individuals. By withholding criticism and framing comments with encouragement,
we mature and we encourage others. This is only a small demonstration of reciprocity.
Practiced over and over, it becomes a habit and a blessing to each encounter.

Let us practice reciprocity in our homes, in our cell groups, in worship, and grow in building one
another into a strong body.